A concerned father revealed how he lied to his mother-in-law and risked arguing with his wife to protect his 14-year-old daughter from her grandmother’s cruel body shaming.
Taking to Reddit, the 42-year-old said he gave his mother-in-law a fake address when he wanted to send his daughter a ‘two sizes too small’ baton-spinning suit, a decision he says is intentional.
He explained that the woman had given her daughter a “crash diet” book when she was 12, leaving the youngster “devastated” and “too scared to eat her dinner.”
‘Our daughter is a healthy girl. She is very active, studious and, most importantly, happy,’ she said.
A concerned father revealed how he lied to his mother-in-law and risked arguing with his wife to protect his 14-year-old son from his grandmother’s cruel body shaming.
“Her grandmother thinks she’s not reaching her ‘full potential’, whatever that means, and she thinks she’ll be on the covers of magazines if she can lose some weight.”
“Since she made these views clear to me, I have made it a point to block any unsupervised contact, and this includes gifts,” he explained.
The father thought his false address plan would work, but the package was quickly returned to the grandmother, who was furious.
“I couldn’t guarantee that I would be home to intercept any gift, and my daughter would open something addressed to her,” he said.
The plan fell apart a few weeks after her daughter’s birthday.
‘Both she and my wife were furious, and my wife corrected the address I gave her earlier. The grandmother insisted that it was a completely innocent package.
The day the birthday present arrived, the father made sure it was home and was furious when he opened it.
Inside was a baton uniform, which would have been the perfect gift since sports is one of the young man’s hobbies, but it was ‘at least’ two sizes too small.
“I sat my wife down with the stupid thing in front of us and said it was clearly intentional, which my wife refuses to acknowledge. Now her and her mom are even angrier at me for throwing her uniform in the neighbor’s trash,” she wrote.
Thousands of people praised the father for protecting his daughter and criticized the grandmother for her behavior, many even calling it abusive.
“I applaud you standing up for and protecting your daughter,” one man said.
“Grandma seems determined to psychologically harm her daughter, despite her best efforts to be a responsible parent,” chimed in another.
“You are doing everything you can to protect your daughter from an aggressive and abusive grandmother,” confirmed a third.
Others criticized the girl’s mother for not standing up to her mother.
‘You don’t have a MIL problem. You have a wife problem. It’s time for you and her wife to have an honest conversation about how she views her daughter’s weight,” one woman said.
‘OP has a HUGE problem at home if the wife agrees or treats this 14 year old like a grandmother. Her grandmother and wife are okay with giving this 14-year-old insecurities, eating disorders, and needing years of therapy,” added another.
“This is the kind of maternal neglect that ends with children becoming self-harming. It must be addressed quickly and firmly,” added another.
While some said the mother probably doesn’t see the harm in her mother’s behavior because she is “so used to it.”
The father said he threw the gift away, sparking outrage from his wife and mother.
“The wife is probably the first brainwashed victim of the MIL diet culture, and I suspect that’s why the wife has a hard time seeing the actions as being as harmful as they are,” one woman said.
“I think the wife needs a little bit of compassion, but also therapy and self-reflection to start unraveling some of her own issues/experiences with AMI and her shenanigans,” he added.
Some people said they had similar experiences with women themselves in their lives.
“I have spent my life with a mother who sees my weight as a problem, a sign of failure and the worst thing in the world. She’s getting a little better, but I’m 40 years old. I starved/purged until I couldn’t lie on my stomach because my hip bones were sticking out too much and I still “wasn’t skinny enough to have an eating disorder,” one woman said.
Some people sided with the wife and told the father that he should have contacted her before carrying out his plans.